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the depths of me

Friday, June 8, 2012

I've had one of those weeks that is so painful it just flashes right by you in the blink of an eye. I just started up a 4 week summer course at Naugatuck in Waterbury. It takes me about 45 minutes to get there, and once I get there the class lasts 6 hours (or more) depending on how quickly I can get my work done. College is definitely one of those things that I will never quite understand the point of. I'm a writing major, yet I will be studying biology until it comes out of my pores for the next month. I can't even begin to tell you how much I just want to write. I think in terms of writing. I don't want anything to happen to me that I don't write down or that I don't take a second to reflect on.

It's one of those things that people don't really ask about either. "Oh, you're a writing major, nice." That's about the biggest response I ever get. I grew up always hearing that we had to do what we love, and it won't matter how much money we make. I played around with the idea for a while, switched to a nursing major because of the price tag, but found myself right back where I started. There is nothing that I can see myself doing in the future but writing. I know I'm supposed to be a writer because even when I think I have nothing inside of me, once a pen is in my hand (or keys under my fingers), the words just pour out.  So I have to believe that this is good enough. I have to do whatever it is that God set out for me to do. He promised me it would all work out. 

"God will throw open the doors of his sky vaults and pour rain on your land on schedule and bless the work you take in hand. You will lend to many nations but you yourself won't have to take out a loan. God will make you the head, not the tail; you'll always be the top dog, never the bottom dog, as you obediently listen to and diligently keep the commands of God, your God, that I am commanding you today." Duteronomy 28:11-14

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